I Have Been Nominated For A Literary Award...

Hello Everyone,

I am very excited! I have been nominated for a literary award. This is great news and it's because of all of you!

So, when you have a moment please go to the website listed below and cast your vote. Also, tell all you friends to vote for me as well.

Thank you again to everyone. I got the mention because you all supported the book and have shown me so much love.

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL NOMINEES FOR THE FOURTH ANNUAL AFRICAN-AMERICAN LITERARY AWARDS SHOW, TO TAKE PLACE ON THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 25, 2008, IN HARLEM, NEW YORK.

TO VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE AUTHORS, GO TO WWW.LITERARYAWARDSHOW.COM AND CLICK ON VOTING. VOTING ENDS ON FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5th.


Break-out Author Of The Year

Darn Oldham – Scent Of An Angel
Carleen Brice - Orange Mint and Honey: A Novel
TERRANCE DEAN - HIDING IN HIP HOP
Dutch – Dutch: The Finale

Detroit Hotter Than July Update...

I had a great time this past weekend in Detroit. It was their Black Pride - Hotter Than July and it was HOT!!!

I met up with my good friend Charles Pugh - On-air news anchor for Fox 2 News, and radio personality with WJLB. I stayed at his home, a few nights, with he and his partner, Michael. Charles is the man in Detroit. Everyone loves him. He's an openly gay man doing his thing in Detroit. I am so proud of him and all his accomplishments. He is thinking of running for city council and already the citizens of Detroit are behind him.

His partner, Michael, an event planner, coordinated many of the events happening with one of the party promoters, Strong Arm Detroit. Michael did his thing. The parties were off the chain and Michael was gracious and on top of his game. I appreciate everything you did for me Michael.

Now, the picture above is of me and Deelishus - Season two winner of The Flavor Of Love. Deelishus is very beautiful and got an ass like WHOA! Damn she got junk in her trunk.

Anyway, we were at the Strong Arm party in a surburb of Detroit called Southfield. It was a pool party, and it was some very good looking men with skimpy and next to nothing swim wear on. We were also privy to get a preview show of Thug Seduction's porn models who were not ashamed to display all of their goodies. And, I mean all of their goodies. It reminded me of the down low parties I went to in Los Angeles that I talk about in my book. If you read the book then you will remember one of the scenes I describe - Pool party, lots of gorgeous men, changing in swim suits in a room, walking around buck naked, and lots of drugs - well this was that type of party, however, it was not a down low party and no celebrities were there.

Well, me and Deelishus were introduced to one another. She notices my book and we got to talking about it. She was like, "Oh my God! We have to talk."

"No problem," I said.

"Okay, you know I used to date someone in the business, right?" She looks me in my eyes with her gorgeous smile.

I am definitely attracted to her. There is something about Deelishus that makes you feel welcoming. She is really beautiful with soft feminine features and a dynamic smile.

"Well, who are you talking about?" I asked already knowing who she was referring to. I really wanted her to say his name.

"He is a rapper," she says coyly.

I get that she is not going to say his name. So I try a different approach.

"Did he used to have long hair?"

She thinks for a moment and then looks at me shocked. She nods her head and says, "Yeah."

"What do you want to know?" I ask.

"I mean, do you know anything. I heard..." her voice trails off and she looks at me for some indication or confirmation.

"I know some things."

"Oh my gosh!" Deelishus squeals. She puts her hand over her mouth.

"It's no secret. We all know."

"No, no, no," She continues to squeal and backs away from me. She starts laughing. "Are you serious?"

But, before we could continue, one of the hosts of the party jumps between us to get his photo op on. Then a crowd swells around us. She keeps looking over at me and saying, "Terrance, we have to talk. Seriously we have to talk."

I smiled at her and told her, "Yeah, we do." I know she has some things she wants to share with me as well.

We didn't get the chance to meet up later. Everyone was shoving and clamoring around her to get their pictures taken. I got caught up in some other people, I mean, other things. I am sure me and Deelishus's paths will cross again.

Oh yeah, so I got to meet up with one of my fraternity brothers. In my book, he is the one who introduced me to my first love "Jaslyn," the Delta at the University of Detroit who broke my heart.

Me and my frat brother started reminiscing and it dawned on us that this is our 20 year anniversary as Alpha men. Yup, 20 years ago, Fall '88, I pledged Alpha Phi Alpha, Fraternity Inc. So, I am celebrating a few milestones in my life - my book, my 20 years in the fraternity, and in September I will be turning 40. God is good!

Thanks everyone for supporting me and hanging in there with me. I have quite a few events coming up and hopefully I will be coming to your city soon. So, keep checking back for details on this blog. Along with some more clues and interviews with people from the book - a few people speak openly with me about how they feel about the book, how their lives have been changed, and what the industry is saying, secretly.

Third Printing...

WOW!!!! So many things have happened since my trip home to Detroit for their Hotter Than July Black Pride celebrations. I will give an update in another blog entry. However, I got a call from my editor on Friday and she was thrilled to share with me that the book has gone into a THIRD printing!

Thank you to everyone who has supported the book, come out to the signings, told your friends, and e-mailed me: hidinginhiphop@aol.com. It does mean a lot to me and I am very thankful for all the love!!

Keep reading, tell some more of your friends, blog about it, write about it, and just keep spreading the word about my book. I appreciate everyone's part.

Take care!

Interview with Abiola Abrams....

Abiola Abrams, the author of DARE, interviewed me at HueMan Bookstore. Abiola is a very beautiful woman and talented writer. When she reached out to me I jumped at the opportunity. I have been following her career and she has truly blossomed into a true entertainment veteran. Thank you Abiola for the interview - I had an amazing time. She also got me to open up.


Gay Teen PSA

Detroit, Here I Come...

Hey Everyone,

I will be in Detroit this week for booksignings and events in conjunction with Detroit's Hotter Than July Black Pride.

Check out the schedule and come out to show your support! Get your book signed, get some questions answered, and let's talk about who's down for the crown in Hip Hop.

Tell all your friends and I hope to see everyone out this weekend!

Thursday, July 24
Detroit Black Gay Pride
The Loft (Mpowerment Detroit)
Presents: The Ultimate Gay Man
Panelist/Signing
743 Beaubien, suite #400
7pm - 10pm
Detroit, MI

Friday, July 25
Sex In The City Pt.2
Detroit Black Gay Pride
Cobo Hall (Riverview Ballroom)
Speaking/Signing
6pm - 11pm
Detroit, MI

Friday, July 25
Borders Books
Signing
7pm
5601 Mercury Drive
Dearborn, MI

Saturday, July 26
Borders Books
Signing
1pm
31150 Southfield Road
Beverly Hills, MI
Phone: 248.644.1515

Saturday, July 26
Hotter Than July
Palmer Park
Signing
3pm - 6pm

Soundtrack of Bobby's Life...

Bobby is from New Jersey and he sent his Top Ten songs to the Soundtrack of His Life. He also sent along a pic of him holding my book! Thanks Bobby for all the love. I met Bobby on myspace and he came to my booksigning in Harlem.

Check out his songs and see if you remember them!

1. Off the Wall - Michael Jackson (Off the Wall, 1979) — this song off his first solo album was on the Billboard Top 100 chart for 1980, the year I was born, so I tend to live my life to the fullest…or as the song says, I gotta live my life off the wall. LOL

2. Time Will Reveal - Debarge (In A Special Way, 1989) — I used to spend my summers growing up at my uncle’s house in Kingstree, South Carolina, and there used to be this painting of the ocean with the waves crashing against the rocks. The song just takes me back to that picture and my childhood and that painting.

3. It Ain’t Hard to Tell - Nas (Illmatic, 1994) — I always listened to hip hop, but this classic song from a classic album changed how I felt about hip hop forever. I fell in love with hip hop as well as the gift in the lyrical content of the “Street’s Disciple.” To this day, Nas is one of my favorite rappers.

4. It Was A Good Day - Ice Cube (The Predator, 1992) — Just reminds me of the summertime and coming of age in Jersey. Plus not to mention a great way of sampling the Isley Brother’s Footsteps in the Dark.

5. No More Rain (in This Cloud) - Angie Stone (Black Diamond, 1999) — This song helped kept my sanity and got me through Army Basic Training at Fort Jackson, South Carolina.

6. Seems Like You’re Ready - R. Kelly (12 Play, 1994) — Um, let’s just say that I’ve learned more about my freakiness and gained a lot more sexual knowledge to this song. LOL

7. Deep Inside - Mary J. Blige (Mary, 1999) — Another song that got me through basic training. Actually the whole album did, but it’s this particular song from one of my favorite artists that got me over my self esteem problems and in turn love myself more and accept me for who I am, sexuality, flaws and all.

8. It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday - Boyz II Men (CooleyHighHarmony, 1990) —They sung this at my high school graduation in 1999, but it also reminds me of all the people I loved that I’ve lost including my uncle, who passed a year ago.

9. Come Inside - Intro (Intro, 1993) — This song was released as a single during the summer of ’92, the period between 5th and 6th grades. Coincidentally, it was also the summer in which I lost my virginity.

10. When I’m Gone - 3 Doors Down (Away From the Sun, 2002; Another 700 Miles, 2003) —This songs reminds me of my deployment to Kuwait and Iraq in 2003 during the beginning of the war and reminds me to keep all my friends that are still serving and the rest of the men and women in uniform-forever my brothers and sisters in combat-in our thoughts and prayers so we can do everything possible to bring them back home.

Inspirational Sunday....

Thank you Smokie Norful!

The Harlem Book Fair - Sat., July 19th...

Greetings Everyone,

The Harlem Book Fair is happening this weekend - July 19th - 20th.

I am participating on a panel discussion and I would love for you to come out and support. Also, if you have not gotten your copy of the book, I will be signing copies at the fair. You can bring your copy with you as well.


HARLEM BOOK FAIR’08
COUNTEE CULLEN AUTHOR DISCUSSIONS (Fiction)

COUNTEE CULLEN LIBRARY AUDITORIUM
132 West 136th Street, corner of Malcolm X Boulevard
SATURDAY, JULY 19
12:00 – 1:30p
GAY AND LESBIAN FICTION:
Resistance in the Marketplace
Moderator: Troy Johnson (Founder AALBC. com)

Panelists: Terrance Dean (Hiding in Hip Hop: On the Down Low in the Entertainment Industry--From Music to Hollywood); Hixon (Ghettoheat); Linda Villarosa (Passing for Black)

Are publishers out of step with consumer demand? Gay and Lesbian fiction continues to sell in record numbers, yet Zane’s current title, Purple Panties, has been refused bookstore signings, an online magazine has declined support, and a major online book club service has “passed” on offering it to their members. Is it because it is a collection of lesbian erotica? Many believe so. These authors share their viewpoints and tell their stories.

To find out more about other panels and authors participating at this year's Harlem Book Fair, please visit:

http://www.qbr.com/page12742.asp#

Soundtrack of Philly's Life...

Philly is representing with the soundtrack of his life. Thanks so much for submitting your list. I met Philly while in Cancun and this young man is definitely someone on the come up. Keep doing your thing and I will see you in NYC.

And, Philly is from Philadelphia - Stand up!

1. No time - Lil Kim - This song came out when I was in high school. I remember when Hardcore dropped I went to see Lil Kim perform at a club in Philly. I was only 17 at the time and the place was packed shoulder to shoulder. During the show this thugged out dude puts his hand on my ass!!! I couldn't believe such a thuggy dude could be gay. Welcome to the DL.

2. Summer Rain - Carl Thomas - The summer before going away to college I met a guy. This was the first "relationship" I had ever been in. I was sooooo infatuated with this dude. During that summer I remember riding around with him in his drop top and it started raining and this song was playing.

3. You had me you lost me - Eve - I decided to try to keep the "relationship" from the summer going from a distance. When I came home on breaks from college we would see each other but I ended up finding out he was not as faithful as I thought. I was devastated in the beginning, but then I heard this song and got over it quickly. Thanks Eve

4. Street Symphony - Monica - THUGS ONLY - At this time in my life I only wanted to deal with straight hood dudes. Benz, BMW, Jaguar, or a Big Suv. That's all u needed anything less forget it. I was very well dressed and very icy. It was fun but too much drama.

5. Alone in this world - Faith Evans - I remember I used to drive up to NYC and party because I was so sick of Philly. I was so obsessed with NYC dudes and their swagger.I met this guy at a club and I used to go see him all the time in NY. This song describes the way I felt when it ended. The song was done over Biggie's beat for who shot ya so it definitely had that NYC feel to it.

6. What are we gonna do - Dru Hill - This time I can say I was in Love. But it was complicated because neither of us were "Out" so we kept it a secret for 4 years. And we knew the same people very closely that knew both of us but would never guess in a million years anything was going on. We had to only say what up when were were around people we knew. all we could do is have an occasional glance. The relationship was a gift and a curse.

7. Dangerously in love - Beyonce - This song described exactly how I felt when I was with my ex. After 4 years of being with someone how could you not be dangerously in love?

8. One thing - Amerie - The first time I ever attended an all gay event. I was shocked at the amount of guys there and how good looking they all were. Even though this was a gay event I still found myself thinking " he can't be gay". I mean these were some of the most masculine brothas I had ever seen. I was a kid in a candy store. When this song came on it was crazy in the clubs. I remember dancing and singing along with one finger in the air. After that first experience I go to the candystore every year. LOL

9. Again - Faith Evans - This song sums up exactly how I felt when I decided to take a look back at my life. I have been through alot and made very stupid mistakes in life but like the lyrics say:

If I had to do it all again
I wouldn't take away the rain
Cuz I know it made me who I am
If I had to do it all again
I've learn so much from my mistakes that's how I know he is watching me.

10. Single Again - Trina - This is the song currently playing on my life's soundtrack. Single again and back on the prowl.

No, Really, I Don't Mind...

Keep Striving Toward Your Greatness!

Always know that there are three types of people in the world:

1.) Those who sit around talking about what others are doing. They tend to have an opinion about everything and everyone. They know how things should be done and how they could be doing it better, yet they are not.

2.) Those who sit around watching what others are doing. They want to do it, but are scared of what others will think of them, or will say about them. Their dreams never materialize because they are afraid to take risks.

3.) Those who are Making Things Happen! Risk-takers, leaders, challengers, dream makers, fearless, and trailblazers.

Which one will you be?


This is who you are if you are one of those types of persons who Make Things Happen! Don't be afraid. God is with you every step of the way. There will be bumps in the roads, dips, twists, many lonely nights and days, and even HATERS. They don't want to see you do good. They hate that you are successful and that you choose not to stay stagnet, complacent, mediocore, and average. Just keep smiling and keep your eye on the prize!


Just In Case You Didn't Get It The First Time!

Soundtrack of Ivyn's Life...

Now, Ivyn is from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma - What up out there to everyone representing!

Ivyn's list is truly a great soundtrack and it has various artists that reflect his eclectic taste. WOW! What an amazing life Ivyn.

Thanks for the list and everyone enjoy his Top Ten Songs....

1. Family Portait - P!NK (from the album Missundaztood, 2001)
My family has been the hub for drama more than a few times, the instigator being my father. Still we manage to "work it out and be a family."

2. Me & My Bitch - The Notorious B.I.G. (from the album Ready to Die, 1994)
This song perfectly describes my first real relationship and the first person that I ever loved. Unfortunately, after three years together, I had to choose life instead of love or I would have ended up like my mate. R.I.P. Combo.

3. Control - Janet Jackson (from the album Control, 1986)
I am the baby of a close-knit family as well as my grandparents' youngest grandchild. Everyone had their own idea of what they thought I should do with my life and what choices I should make. Damn, it feels good to finally be free.

4. Dreamin' - Young Jeezy (from the album The Inspiration: Thug Motivation 102, 2006)
This song is for my best friends and I. Growing up, we spent a lot of time talking about what we were going to do when we got out of high school and how we were going to get out the hood. It has been eight years since we graduated from high school; I am currently starting my third year of medical school. The lesson here: Never give up.

5. I Can Be - Aaliyah (from the album Aaliyah, 2001)
It has almost been without fail that every dating relationship I enter is not monogamous. However, with my busy school schedule I don't have time for an unrestricted affair. With that being said, "I can be on the side..." Sharing is caring.

6. The Best of Sade by Sade, 1994
This album was the soundtrack to the night I lost my virginity. Strawberries, whipped cream, Chardonnay, and Sade. The proper set-off.

7. Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud - James Brown (from the album Say It Loud, I'm Black and I'm Proud, 1968)
I attend a predominantly white medical school. There was only one other black person who started in the Class of 2010 with me. Sometimes people forget that diversity is an important factor in the health care system and every person in the field is not going to be a white male. I am the rude awakening. I'm black. I'm proud.

8. Pain - 2Pac (from the album Above the Rim, 1994)
Growing up in the hood was fun as a child. There was a certain thrill about getting into certain things. However, as a person becomes more aware of what they are doing, karma starts to take effect. This song describes some of the pain and pressures I went through running around as a "little child runnin' wild."

9. Smoking Cigarettes - Tweet (from the album Southern Hummingbird, 2002)
I began to smoke in order to deal with the anxieties of deciding to end the only true relationship I had ever been in. When the relationship ended, so did the smoking. That was a crazy time of my life and I'll never forget that.

10. I Won't Complain - Rev. Paul Jones (from the album I Won't Complain, 2003)
This song has been sang at the funerals of my grandmother, an aunt, and my first love. Reflecting on the lyrics to this song helps to ease the pain of each loss and reminds me that God is in control.

Soundtrack of Warren's Life...

Warren is from Greenville, South Carolina and the Soundtrack Of His Life is very inspiring.

His songs are some classics! Yeah, these songs make me think of a lot of things.

Thanks Warren and a big shout out to all the folks in Greenville -

1. Rock Da Boat - Aaliyah - Aaliyah - (I remember when I was in the 11th grade I went to my friend's Jeremy birthday party. Me and Briana(a girl that had a crush on me) turned the dull party into a night to remember. I told the DJ to play this song and we started grinding on the floor. I was so busy dancing I almost didn't notice that everyone that was sitting down was now standing in a circle around us. The song also has another meaning to me. It was the last music video Aaliyah shot. She was one of my favorite artist and I was really hurt by her tragic death. I will take a quote from her, "Whatever is meant to be, will be." RIP

2. Nobody Not Really - Alicia Keys - The Diary of Alicia Keys - Even though the song is very short the song spoke to me because sometimes I feel all alone even if I have plenty of friends and family around. Sometimes people think they know how you feel or they have been through what you have been through...but they haven't. Being gay is hard. Family is not there as much as you would like them to be and true friends are far and in between. No one quite understands me.

3. Teach Me - Musiq Soulchild - luvanmusiq - This song is my anthem!!! I really feel like this. I am so guarded and I want someone to change me and teach me how to love. I hate feeling vulnerable, or as if someone is controlling my heart. I want to be in control but in order to experience love I have to let go.

4. What about your friends - TLC - oooohhhh on the TLC Tip - It was the first album I listened to as a child. I remember being a lonely child and I never could trust people like that. I didn't have many friends and what is so funny, even now I am the same. I have few close friends and I value my friendships.

5. Survivor - Destiny's Child - Survivor - I remember going through alot of problems when I was 16 and 17. Me and my mother's relationship, or lack there of, was really getting to me. Why doesn't she love me? Why doesn't she call or spend time with me? I really turned to Jesus and dove into Church. I also stopped hanging around my best friend who really hurt me. Survivor really helped me through those times because no matter what happens, life will go on.

6. Dangerously in Love - Beyonce - Dangerously in Love - I never told anyone this except my close friend that I cried to this song. I was lying in the arms of this guy name David who happen to be in the fraternity, Alpha Phi Alpha, Fraternity, Inc. He was trying to get me to open up and during one evening the song played in the background. We were looking into each others eyes and saying all of these words. I realize that I really did care about him and I put my head down so that he wouldn't see the tears. But, when he called my name I couldn't help but look up at him as the tear dropped. Wow!

7. Have You Ever? - Brandy - Never Say Never - When I first heard this song I didn't really like it cuz I thought it was cheesy, but I remember me and my first girlfriend made this our song. We thought we were so in love. We use to sing this song to each other over the phone. We were in the 8th grade talking about love and pain like we knew what that was. LOL

8. We Could Be - Keyshia Cole - The Way It Is - I remember playing her album out before it blew up. Me and my ex hooked up while he was still living with his boyfriend. That was my first time ever doing anything sneaky, but I was so wrapped up into my feelings that I didn't care. I knew that we could never truly be together because we lived in different cities and he didn't want to let his boyfriend go. One day he told me that he bought Keyshia Cole's album and I told him to listen to track number 8 (We Could Be) because it made me think of our situation.

9. Can You Help Me - Usher - 8701. I was going to school at the College of Charleston and me and my girlfriend just broke up because I was moving away. I knew it was for the best but I still missed her. I use to sing this song to her over the phone. I remember she would always send me letters through the mail which was sweet.

10. Back At One - Brian Mcknight - Back At One - I used to play this song out in 2000. I used to want to be a singer...well, LOL, I still do want to be one...but when I was 17 I really really wanted to be one. Brian McKnight, to me, is the best R&B male singer of my generation. He has the voice, the looks, but, mostly important, he always comes off like a gentleman, not a playboy. At the time I was trying to mimic him vocally. To this day "Back At One" is one of my favorites and when it comes on I have to sing along.

Soundtrack of Jesus Life...

Jesus is reppin' Brooklyn. And from his list you can see he is a true Mariah Carey fan!

Thanks Jesus for your list. These songs seem to resonate with not only you, but for so many people - Mariah has that appeal.

1. Outside - Mariah Carey - Album: Butterfly
Even though in this song she is referring to feeling like an outsider from being biracial, I personally felt like I was able to relate to this song because I felt like an outsider in my family and I felt I just couldn't fit in with the straight men or women in the family or even straight friends at that. So, it was a struggle for me coming out of the closet. That's why I love this song.

2. I Am Free - Mariah Carey - Album: Daydream
I love this song because after coming out of the closet I just felt like I was myself and everyone knowing it just took a big burden off of me and I just felt free.

3. Can't Take That Away - Mariah Carey - Album: Rainbow
I love this song because it gave me the courage to stand up for myself and realize that I shouldn't let anyone put me down. I am who I am and no one can change that.

4. Hero - Mariah Carey - Album: Music Box
This song gave me the strength to accept myself for who I am.

5. Fly Like A Bird - Mariah Carey - Album: The Emancipation of Mimi
I listen to this song whenever I feel like the world is just leaning on me.

6. I Wish You Well - Mariah Carey - Album: E=MC2
This song is for those who I don't really get a long with in the family who have done me wrong.

7. I Stay In Love - Mariah Carey - Album: E=MC2
This song is for the person I'm still in love with and I just don't really know how to let go, even though I try really hard.

Soundtrack of Keisha's Life...

Check out the Soundtrack of Keisha's Life - She hails from Greenwood, South Carolina.

Thanks Keisha for submitting your list. Now, these are some real drama-like choices.

1. Because I Love You by Lenny Williams. My husband used to play that for me all the tme when we were married.

2. My Life by Mary J. Blige from the My Life CD. I had just broken up with someone and thought it was the end of the world. I wanted to die.

3. Who Will I Choose by Chris Bender. Something I'm going through now with my current boyfriend that can't make up his mind between me and his baby-momma. He told me that he felt like Chris, but he only knew the hook to the song.

4. A Mess by Anthony Hamilton. This song is because I always feel like this is due to the situation I'm in right now. Baby-Momma Drama. He wanna leave but she got the baby.

5. Give Me That P***Y by Webbie. This song was chosen because sometimes I want a man to handle me ROUGH & be AGGRESSIVE with me, especially when I've had a bad day. LOL!

6. Where Would I Go by Dave Hollister. When I broke up with my boyfriend this is the song that I cherished the most.

7. Things We Use To Do by 8ball & MJG. Whenever someone I used to mess with wants to get another chance, I only give dudes one chance to prove themselves, and if you don't prove yourself to be worthy then I'll holla.

8. All I Really Want by R. Kelly, TP2.com CD. This one is a favorite because this is all I ever want to give a man out of life. And they just can't seem to want that, they try to F**K everything in sight. Both baby-daddy's.

9. When A Woman's Fed Up by R. Kelly, The R in R&B Collection Vol. 1. This song is because I had caught my baby-daddy with my brother's baby-momma and I had already caught him twice before with two other girls and I was just tired. This is the reason why I only give a dude one chance to prove himself, if not then BYE_BYE!

10. Your Child by Mary J. Blige. This was chosen because the Baby-daddy got someone else pregnant and he didn't tell me. I got it out of the street.

11. Pussy, Money, Weed by Lil Wayne. This song is not because I Love Money, and not because I smoke Weed - it is because I have a friend that I talk to. SHE talks to me. We grew up together and moved in the same subdivision. Now, somehow, we started FREAKING each other, from time to time, but we both have men. What the fuck is that? Well, at least I'm not cheating on my boyfriend.

The LOGO Piece with Chamiogne Antoine...

Essence Music Festival Recap...

First, I would like to say New Orleans is still recovering and the residents are rebuilding their lives. I love their resilience, and spirit. And through it all, the thousands of people who harped on their city for this year's Essence Music Festival, yet, they were still hospitable and welcomed everyone like we were family - Hell! They are our extended cousins. It felt great to be in the city!

On my flight down to New Orleans guess who was on my flight? No, let me restate that - guess who I sat behind, literally - "Eli" from my book. Yes, the award-winning rapper/actor was sitting directly in front of me. When he glided into the boarding area and proceeded toward check-in, everyone's head was turning. Men gawking, women covering their mouths gasping, and I all could think was that the ladies do love them some Eli.

I chuckled to myself when I took my seat behind Eli. I thought about the irony of it and how fun this two hour and forty-five minute flight was going to be. The bubbly flight attendant came over to me and started a conversation. "Hey, what are those tattoos on your arm?" She asked. I explained to her what they meant. "What are you going to New Orleans for?" She asked bubbly and smiling. "I am going for a booksigning at the Essence Festival."

"What's the name of your book?"
I tell her the name. Eli jerks his head around at me.

"Wow. That sounds like a great book," the flight attendant is giggling. "What is your name?"

I tell her my name. Again, Eli jerks his head around and looks me in the eye.
"I am going to get your book," the flight attendant repeats my book title and name as she walks away.

At this time Eli gets up and goes to the bathroom. When he returns he stands in the middle of the aisle and stares at me. My first thought was, "Oh, shit. We are about to fight on the plane." But, he stood in his b-boy stance because I think it all comes rushing back to him. Yep, he recognizes me. He didn't say anything. You should have seen the look on his face. It was priceless! He took his seat and occassionally glanced back.

I had an awesome time at the festival. Man, there were so many people, beautiful black people there. The convention center was packed with various vendors, seminars, and the booksigning. I had the great opportunity to sit next to comedian/actor/author Finesse Mitchell, (Former Saturday Night Live comedian), who had me rolling with laughter. Such a funny, good-looking and sexy man. Damn! He is fine! LOL. Congrats to him and his fiance. We talked about him getting married and his upcoming works. Thanks for the convo Finesse.

I also ran into "Ace" (uhm, I call him Snake in the book). Yes, he was in town. Yes, we talked. Yes, he heard about the book, and knew about his reference. He got a kick out of the nickname I gave him, "Snake." He found it amusing. And, of course, he wanted to, uhm, well....WOW! Snake.

I made some new friends while in town - Gabby and her husband, Kenny. There was Sharon and her girlfriends who were giddy with glee. Desiree from Chicago, who was doing the damn thing. And, Natalie who is such a wonderful and sweet woman. I met some others, but I think I will save those for another time.

But, I do want to thank everyone who came out and purchased the book. Man, it felt great that people heard I was in town and made an effort to come to the booksigning at the festival. Then there were those who heard of the book, and because I was there they bought copies. Yeah, I had a great time in New Orleans.

Soundtrack of LaShawn's Life...

LaShawn from the ATL provided her Top Ten List.

Thanks so much LaShawn for the list - These songs do bring back some memories!!

1. Love You More - Ginuwine
I am at a point in my life that receiving unconditional love is a must and not just an expectation. Having some one love you just as much as you love them is a blessing, but to have someone who tells you that they love you more and more each day (smiles): That is what love is truely about.

2. I Wish I Wasn't - Heather Headley
Before I found the person who is my true love, I had to go through the ones who I loved more than they loved me. Heather did a good job on this song and the words spoke volumes to me at that time in my life.

3. Dirt Off Your Shoulder - Jay Z
Transitioning to adulthood and accomplishing my goals, I encountered a lot of haters. Jay Z was on point with this song. This song should be a life anthem for those days when you feel like the world is against you. Also Hard Knock Life.

4. It's Like That - Mariah Carey
My girls' night out song. After a long day and work week, and you just want to let it all go...."This is my Life...No stress..."

5. Love @ 1st Sight - Mary J. Blige
When this song came out, I was in love with someone at first sight. We are still close to this day, but distant friends. We will always have a connection that can not be explained, but this song comes close.

6. 4 My People - Missy Elliot
One word Terrance:Rave!!!!!
This is a feel good song. Man if no one has every listen to Missy So Addictive, to me that was her best feel good album. "4 My People", was the my party jam. Hip Hop crossing over to other genres.

7. Street Symphony - Monica
Street Thug vs. School books
In the end, it did not add up for me.

8. Magic Stick - Lil Kim feat 50 cents
I hear the man lives up to the song. Who doesn't want a magic stick? Good music.

9. Pumps n Bumps - MC Hammer
The video was something else. Best Dance moves I had ever seen during that time. They had a couple of videos for this song..

10. My Perogative - Bobby Brown
High school years headed to college and all I could say was it was my perogative.

Essence Music Festival - New Orleans, Here I Come...

I am really looking forward to being in New Orleans this weekend. This is my second trip to New Orleans, but my first to the Essence Music Festival.

Everyone has been telling me how much fun I am going to have. The people, food, music, and of course, the booksigning. All the authors I have spoken to who have participated at the festvial in previous years have told me that they had the most amazing experience, and that the folks buy books!

So, if you are in New Orleans this weekend, or a native, come check me out Friday, July 4th, from 3pm - 5pm, and Saturday, July 5th from 3pm - 5pm at the Convention Center. Come and purchase your copy of my book, "Hiding In Hip Hop," or bring your copy for me to sign. The events at the convention center are free and open to the public. I hear there are hundreds of vendors with lots of goodies.

Oh, did I mention that someone special is meeting me in New Orleans. Actually a few people from book are going to be there, but one in particular informed me he will be in town.

Soundtrack of Robert's Life...

One reader, Robert, sent his submission in and he did a great job. Of the 39 chapter/song titles he missed four.

Robert hails from New York City. He provided his Top Ten songs that has been the Soundtrack of His Life.

Make sure to get your Submissions in and I will post yours as well.

1. "Betcha By Golly Wow" - The Stylistics (Self Titled Album from 1971)- One of the most beautiful early soul songs I owned on a 45 when I was 7 years old. This was the time period when all the wonderful Soul Ballads started coming out.

2. "Watcha See Is Watcha Get" - The Dramatics (from album of same name, 1972)- This song brings back fond memories of when I went to the Rutgers Church community Center in New York on Friday nights. The Center had a record player and all the youngsters would bring their records to listen to while we played ping-pong or pool. I brought the 45 record of "Watcha See Is Watcha Get" to the center one night. The majority of the kids who went to the center were Black so they were bugging when I (a white boy) dropped the phonograph needle on this Dramatics tune.

3. "Don't You Want My Love" - Debbie Jacobs - "Undercover Lover" Album, 1979 - Disco Music has always been a favorite of mine and when I was a young teenager in the height of it's popularity, I was often ostracized for liking it, being told by my peers that it was music made for Fags and Blacks. Regardless of what others thought, I still love it.

4. "In Summer I Fall" - The Family Stand - "Chain" CD, 1990 - I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it and I still play it repeatedly to this day! Sad to say though, this song brings back mixed memories for me. A friend of mine was brutally murdered (it actually made the newspapers) right after I discovered this song so I tend to think of him when I hear it. It doesn't make me sad though because I know he's in a better place.

5. "If I Believed" - Patti Austin - "Gettin' Away With Murder" CD, 1985 - I was 20 years old when this came out and I was still coming to terms with my sexuality. The poignancy of the lyrics. "I Wanna Believe It's Love This Time- I Wanna Believe My Heart's Not Telling Me A Lie" - are ones that still resonate with me to this very day!

6. "Stronger Than Before" - Joyce Kennedy - "Looking For Trouble" Album, 1984 - This song has a history. Originally written by Carole Bayer Sager (former wife of Songwriting Great Burt Bachrach) in 1981, it has been covered by several people - Dionne Warwick, Chaka Khan and even a group on the SUGARHILL Label who went by "Just Friends". However, this rendition by Joyce Kennedy is the ultimate one for me. She sings the HELL out of this song! The versions by Chaka and Joyce actually came out the same year and I'm sure Chaka fans will hate me for this. However I feel Joyce sings the lyrics with such power and conviction - "I'll Take You Back, If You Come Back" - Hell, if I was Straight, I WOULD come back to her! LOL!

7. "Falling In Love" - Surface, 1983 - This song has a nice jazzy-dance type feel to it with lyrics that remind me of crushes I had on certain guys back in the day (who of course never knew about it! LOL!)

8. "I Like What Your Doing To Me" - Young And Company, 1980- from album of the same name - This song brings back so many good memories for me - the first summer of my first summer job and the first summer after my first semester of High School. The Summer of 1980 was one of the first summers I remember feeling totally care-free and the music out at the time reflected that.

9. "You Can't Turn Me Off (In The Middle Of Turning Me On)" - High Inergy, "Turnin' On" Album, 1977 - Another one of my favorite Soul Songs from my childhood. I remember getting to hear the album version of this song some time after it's release, which contained extra lyrics in a bridge of the song not included on the single release commonly played on the radio. It made me fall in love with the song even more.

10. "Love On My Mind" - Freemasons, "Shakedown" CD, 2005 - The most recently released song on my list. I'm not much of a dancer but the energy brought to a song like The Freemsons "Love On My Mind" with it's mix of the old and the new makes me want to get out on the dancefloor and do whatever it is I do!